i woke up thirsty in the night & layed sleepily in the shadowy moonlight for a while. when i padded around the corner to the kitchen the clouds in the window shifted just slightly & the waning crescent moon spilled over them like butter. the stars were cleanly bright & unobstructed. it felt like a special treat only for somnambulists like me, venturing out of bed. i gazed into the night a while longer, thinking. how lucky i am that i will become extra acquainted with the night over the next five months! i wonder what kind of circadian rhythms i will fall into, what it even will feel like to rest when it gets dark & wake when the sun does.
i’ve said several times recently that the only preparation left is to worry. that’s not far off the truth but really i just feel so aglow with the newness & unknown of it all. i’m grateful that the small anxieties of minimizing my posessions & finding homes for my plants are absorbing the brunt of my worries so that the trail can remain unadulterated in my imagination a while longer.
i’m sleepy now, but i wanted to see what it would feel like to write a little on my phone in spite of the soothing snores & comforting warmth from j’s side of our flannely bed.